i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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