you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
