i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can I color on your dick again?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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