Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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