We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
