Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
