You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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