We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
