i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
where are you?
Hypothermia
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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