i don't like sucking hair
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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