Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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