Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
