Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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