So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
