I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
