Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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