she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
