Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
