is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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