At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
