Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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