Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
