Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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