im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
