Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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