Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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