I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
