I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
