ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no, he came in my armpit
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
