i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
