You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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