How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
