The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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