Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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