I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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