I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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