See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
