I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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