Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
