Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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