YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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