Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
