I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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