I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
