lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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