That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
