i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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