As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
