Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
