I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
