i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
