My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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