So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
