Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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