the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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