This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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