So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
