People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
