Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize